Something Tells Me That Dan Dakich Of ESPN Won't Be the Guest Speaker At Iowa's Basketball Banquet When the Season Is Over. Something Also Tells Me That Hawkeye Center Adam Woodbury and His Family Won't Be Sending a Christmas Card to Dakich

Dan Dakich

I Wonder What the Wives & Girlfriends Think

By RON MALY

I noticed a headline on page 1 of today's sports section in the paper that made me think something very bad had happened to the New England Patriots of the National Football League.

The headline read: 

Pats face investigation
into use of deflated balls
  
If it were up to me, I know I'd be investigating such a horrible development.

I'd hire the FBI, Scotland Yard and Captain Midnight to get to the bottom of it.

I'll admit I've heard in the past that Patriots coach Bill Belichick is no stranger to bending, or downright breaking, the rules.

But, as far as I'm concerned, deflating his players' balls is taking cheating one step too far.

Then there are the players' wives and girlfriends. 

I wonder what they're thinking about this deal.

I  wouldn't figure they're very happy.

If and when I find out more about the mess, I'll get back to you on it.

Something Tells Me TV Ratings for The Bachelor Are Taking a Nose-Dive

By RON MALY

The TV in front of me was on, and I was half asleep. 

The half of me that was alert noticed that The Bachelor was on channel 5, so I watched a few minutes of it. 

Chris Soules

I was aware that Chris Soules, the farmer from Iowa,  was the bachelor of the season, and I was also aware that the network would have a bunch of beautiful women on the show who are [maybe] interested in hooking up with Soules. 

I've heard rumors that these types of shows are scripted, so I believe very little about what I see on them. 

After the first 5 or 6 minutes of tonight's show, I began thinking about TV ratings. 

Specifically, I'm wondering if the ratings for The Bachelor are in a nose-dive.

Why? 

Because, for some reason only the people who run ABC are aware of, network late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel was also on tonight's show.  

Consequently, I'm also wondering if the ratings for Kimmel's show are taking a crap. 

Otherwise, why would he be on The Bachelor, talking about sex 90 percent of time and generally making an ass of himself?  

I quit watching after Soules' first "date" on tonight's show. 

I liked the looks and personality of his date, a well put-together lady from Canada.  

But I'd seen enough of Soules and Kimmel.  

I'll be watching something on Public Broadcasting or the History channel the rest of the night.

Wake me up in a few weeks when Soules hands out his final rose, if indeed he does.

Then again, don't bother.

Bill Self Wears a Wig

By RON MALY

Bill Self wearing his wig

There were a couple of photos in today's paper that showed Iowa State basketball fans holding signs taunting Kansas coach Bill Self. 

They were holding the signs at Hilton Coliseum in Ames, where the Cyclones defeated Self's team last night, 86-81.

One sign said:

Bill Self Wears Crocs

Another said:

Bill Self Wears Ankle Socks

Funny stuff maybe, but not hilarious.

The next time Self and Kansas play a game at Hilton, I've got a better idea for Iowa State's fans.

They should hold up a huge sign that reads:

Bill Self Wears a Wig


And it would be true.

I know Self wears fake hair because Larry Eustachy, a former Iowa State coach, told me so.

All coaches know the secrets other coaches try to hide, don't they? 

Eustachy had lunch with a few of us several years ago at a Chinese restaurant in West Des Moines.

We were discussing various basketball facts and rumors when, suddenly, Eustachy said:

"Do you know Bill Self wears a wig?"

None of us knew that, but Eustachy insisted it was true.

Now, every time I'm watching a game on TV in which Self is coaching, I try to see if I can find evidence that Self has fake hair. 

Call it a wig, a toupee, a hairpiece, a rug, whatever.

A few minutes ago, I tried to find evidence on the Internet supporting Eustachy's claim that Self wears a wig.

Indeed, there are a number of claims made that Self's hair isn't his own. 

There's no photographic proof, just plenty of words that say the 52-year-old Self wears a wig.

None from the man himself, of course.

With Bill Self, mum's the word when it comes to what's on his head.

It Was Quite a Saturday In January, Starting With Some Outstanding High School Jazz Choir and Show Choir Performances On trhe Stage At Waukee. The Basketball Victories By Drake [Which I Feared Was Going To Be 0-for-the-Valley], Iowa State and Iowa Made It a Dazzling Afternoon and Night

By RON MALY

We spent all day and most of the night watching and listening to some excellent high school jazz choir nnd show choir performances at Waukee.

So I didn't see much basketball on the tube. 

I managed to watch the final few minutes of Iowa State's victory over Kansas on ESPN, and I'd heard earlier that Iowa defeated Ohio State. 

Frankly, I wasn't surprised with the Iowa State and Iowa victories. 

The Cyclones always win at Hilton Coliseum [regardless of what teams they're playing], don't they? 

I knew The Mayor wouldn't let Kansas off the hook tonight.

And Iowa had already beaten a strangely-inept Ohio State team in Columbus this season. I figured the Buckeyes would play an even poorer game at Carver-Hawkeye Arena, and I was right.

What did get my attention, though, was when I read the story Ty Patton of Drake sent me on my computer about the Bulldogs' game against Indiana State.  

That's the outcome that shocked me. 

I was talking to a longtime Drake fan last night at the Valley-Southeast Polk boys'/girls' doubleheader, and I told him I thought the Bulldogs were headed for an 0-for-the-Missouri-Valley- Conference record this season.  

To me, things were looking hopeless at the Knapp Center [and in every other gym in the Valley] for coach Ray Giacoletti and his players.  

Over the years, I've seen some tremendous basketball at Drake [thank you, Maury John, Tom Davis, Keno Davis, Bob Ortegel and Gary Garner], but I've also observed some lousy Drake teams, too.  

This 2014-2015 squad was one of the worst.

I was wondering if  Drake athletic director Sandy Hatfield Clubb would have to lure Tom Davis out of retirement a second time so he could pump some blood and oxygen into what had become a basketball program on life support. 

The Bulldogs went into today's game with records of 3-14 overall and 0-5 in the Valley. 

They were playing an Indiana State team that was 5-0 in the league.  

Yet, somehow Drake won the game, 84-78, meaning it won't be a winless league finish after all.    

Patton, Drake's sports information guy,  informed me in his account of the game that the victory was the 190^th of Giacoletti's career.  

"I'm proud of this team," Giacoletti said after the game.  "We’ve been through as adverse a situation as I’ve ever been in in 30 years. This team has not splintered and it hasn’t broken.”  

That's good news.  I'll expect a second Valley victory very soon.  

No sense stopping now.

And nice going, Cyclones, Hawkeyes and all of the talented singers and dancers who participated in the  jazz choir and show choir extravaganza today on the stage at Waukee High School. 

Great show by all.

Girls' Basketball Rankings Jolted As History Repeats Itself. No. 6 Southeast Polk, Which Eliminated the Tigers From Last Season's Class 5-A State Tournament, Uses Long-Range Shooting Accuracy To Hand Them Their First Loss In 13 Games In 2014-2015 At Bill Coldiron Fieldhouse. The Tigers, Who Were Ranked No 1, Sink With 76-63 Defeat

By RON MALY

In some ways, March 2014 seems so long ago. 

In other ways, it seems very recent.  

I mean, to the girls basketball teams from Southeast Polk and

Valley and to many of their fans, it seemed like yesterday. 

Last March, Southeast Polk broke away from Valley with some strong last-half shooting accuracy to upset the No. 2-ranked Tigers, 68-60, on the opening day of the class 5-A state tournament at Wells Fargo Arena in downtown Des Moines. 

Southeast Polk went on to finish second in the tournament after losing in the championship game to Dowling of West Des Moines. 

Valley went into tonight's game against Southeast Polk unbeaten and ranked No. 1 in the state. 

Same story as in March. 

Sixth-ranked Southeast Polk trailed early, but began shooting up a storm from long range in the last half, and wound up with a 76-63 victory at the Bill Coldiron Fieldhouse on Valley's campus. 

Obviously, the Rams [9-2] deserved to win and are better than advertised. 

And, obviously, Valley [12-1] needs to play better defense and must rebound with more authority if it is to make a return trip to the state tournament. 

It's a long way until March. 

Then, again, maybe it isn't.

Flashback: A Relic Of a Basketball Arena, Bugs Bagstad, Otis Dypwick and a Rookie Sports Editor

By RON MALY

While watching on TV as Iowa beat Minnesota, 77-75, in a Big Ten basketball game a couple of nights ago, I went into rewind.  

The game was played at Williams Arena, a relic of a place on the Minnesota campus. 

The Barn

People often refer to Williams Arena now as The Barn.

One reason they call it The Barn is because it's so old. 

I mean, Williams Arena was old when I saw my first game there more than a half-century ago.  

I had just gotten my degree from the University of Iowa in January, 1958, and I was in my first few months of being sports editor at the Albert Lea [Minn.] Tribune. 

Even though the Albert Lea Tigers weren't a good basketball team that season, and weren't threats to make it to the state high school tournament, my boss and I thought it would be  a good idea for me to cover the tournament.  

The event, which lasted nearly a week, was held at Williams Arena, which then had a seating capacity of more than 18,000.  

Because I knew little about Minneapolis, the boss thought it would be a good idea to send someone with me to show me around the big city.  

He chose Palmer "Bugs" Bagstad, a longtime sports fan who worked in the printing department at my paper. 

Bugs' job was to drive me to Minneapolis, and to get me to wherever I needed to be. 

His reward was free lodging in Minneapolis and a ticket to all of the games in the tournament. 

It was a good deal for Bugs and a good deal for me.

I had obtained a press credential to the tournament from Otis Dypwick, who then was the sports information at the University of Minnesota.  

Dypwick and his staff were responsible for media credentials,  scorekeeping and setting up  interviews at the tournament. 

With a guy who had an unforgettable name like Otis Dypwick, you had to figure he was pretty darn knowledgeable and pretty darn important. 

Otis Dypwick certainly was both. 

Otis was also a very nice man. 

I was 22 years of age when I covered the tournament, but probably looked [and maybe sometimes acted] like I was 15. 

I had a lot of questions for Otis Dypwick during that high school tournament, and he patiently answered all of them. 

It didn't make any difference that I was a rookie sports editor from a smalltown southern Minnesota paper. 

He treated me with as much respect as he treated the reporters from Minneapolis and St. Paul.  

Thanks, Otis Dypwick, and thanks, Bugs Bagstad, for making my first trip to Williams Arena a pleasure.  

In 1958, I wasn't surprised by the noise generated inside Williams Arena because I had watched many games--of both the high school and collegiate variety--at Iowa Fieldhouse in Iowa City, another relic of a place.  

A huge difference between Williams Arena and Iowa Fieldhouse is that Minnesota still plays its games at Williams and Iowa now plays in Carver-Hawkeye Arena. 

Williams Arena has undergone a number of revisions over the years. Indeed, its seating capacity is now 14,625--down from the 18,025 shoehorned into the place when I saw my first game there. 

Thank goodness for modern fire laws. 

I covered many basketball games, of course, at Williams Arena after leaving Albert Lea.  

There were lots of thrills and, yes, some frustrations, too, while watching Hawkeye teams coached by Ralph Miller, Dick Schultz, Lute Olson, George Raveling and Tom Davis take teams into an arena that has a strange raised floor.  

The players' benches and the tables where the official scorers sit are two feet below the playing court. 

Head coaches are permitted to stand on the court, above the benches, during games.

I certainly heard no complaints about the seating [or standing] arrangements from Iowa coach Fran McCaffery after this week's victory at Williams Arena.

Right now, he's got to be thinking The Barn isn't a bad place to stand [or play] at all.