By RON MALY
My Neighbor Al, the Health Nut tries hard to live up to his nickname.
The Health Nut stuff, I mean.
Al swallows lots of tablets from the vitamin B, C and E bottles he buys at Walmart, and he attempts to exercise as much as possible.
Indeed, during our conversation today while we were drinking some Italian Dark Roast coffee, Al mentioned that he's been riding his reconditioned bicycle more than normal lately.
"By the way, where did you get that bicycle?" I asked Al.
"Monkey Wards, before they went out of business," he said.
Then I wondered why Al was riding his bike more often these days.
"Are you thinking about going on RAGBRAI or something?" I asked.
"Hell, no. I wouldn't be caught dead on RAGBRAI," Al answered. "I'm biking more because I heard on the car radio that exercise is good for helping prevent Alzheimer's Disease."
"I think you're doing the right thing," I told Al. "Just stay on the bike trails and stay off the streets. Bicycle riders always come out second-best when they tangle with cars. You talked about not being caught dead on RAGBRAI, but dead is what you'd be if you get hit by a car while riding your bike on the street."
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I try to not discuss the paper with My Neighbor Al, the Health Nut, any more than I have to.
Bryce Miller |
But Al briefly got on the subject of the paper's sports department again near the end of today's conversation.
"It still bothers me that Bryce Miller, one of the sportswriters, uses the late Maury White's line, a little bit about a lot of things," Al said. "I'll bet Maury is rolling over in his grave about that one."
Maury White |
"Listen, Al," I said, "I sat in the same newsroom with Maury White for nearly 40 years, and my desk was right next to his during most of those 40 years. I knew more about Maury than most people at that place. I certainly knew his strengths and his weaknesses.
"If someone wants to use Maury's 'a little bit about a lot of things' line, or even 'a little bit about a lot,' I'm sure Maury wouldn't be pissed about it, and he wouldn't notify the journalism police. Besides, Maury borrowed a few ideas in his writing days, too. But White might laugh a lot, and wonder why the other guy doesn't have some originality.
"So forget it already and have another cup of Italian Dark Roast."
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Photos courtesy of Google.