RON MALY HAS BEEN WATCHING THE PARADE GO BY FOR A LONG TIME. THIS IS ONE OF HIS WEBSITES.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Record-Setter

By RON MALY

Grocery shopping is one of my least favorite things to do, and the only reason I'm writing about it is because I set a personal record today.


All by myself, I managed to spend $116.71 at HyVee without buying any of the vastly over-priced $5.99 raisin-and-walnut bread that I've been writing about in recent days.

I know for a fact that, as a solo shopper, I'd never spent $116.71 at any grocery store at any previous time.

I admit, though, that the grocery shopping experience earlier in my life was limited.

But times change. I have now joined the 21st century and am a frequent grocery shopper.

But that doesn't mean I like it.

I went to HyVee today after noticing that I could save 30 cents on the fuel saver card I hand the checkout person whenever I leave the store.

To get the 30 cents off my next bill at the gas station, I needed to buy $50 worth of groceries.

I obviously know next to nothing about the price of groceries.

I thought I'd have trouble getting to $50. 

Little did I know I'd spend more than twice that.

And I didn't impress anyone after saying I spent $116.71.

My Neighbor Al the Health Nut wandered over to talk to me when he saw me unloading the groceries from my car.

I thought he'd want to talk about the Cubs and the World Series. Huh-uh. He wanted to see what I bought and how much I spent. 

I told Al that it seems $116.71 doesn't go very far these days.

He wasn't impressed.

"A hundred and 16 bucks is chicken feed," he said. "The missus spends more than that every week."

Count on it that this will be the last time I write about grocery shopping.