RON MALY HAS BEEN WATCHING THE PARADE GO BY FOR A LONG TIME. THIS IS ONE OF HIS WEBSITES.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

My phone rang at 8 o'clock this morning. I don't make much sense at that time of day, but I managed to put it all together when I heard the voice of one of my former neighbors. You already know about My Neighbor Al, the Health Nut, and it wasn't him. Indeed, Al isn't a former neighbor anyway. He's still in the neighborhood, and he still likes to drink my Italian Dark Roast coffee in the morning. I'll call the guy who phoned today Frank, even though his name is not Frank. Anyway, he wanted to talk about something he saw in the paper. "What did you think of that big headline on the front of the sports page?" Frank asked. "I haven't seen the paper yet, Frank," I said. "In fact, I haven't even gotten it from my front porch. What's the deal on the headline?" Frank told me the headline read: "NBA, nation embrace gay player's news." I think Frank was referring to the word 'embrace' as the amusing thing about the headline. The headline and story were in reference to NBA player Jason Collins coming out of the closet and saying he's gay. I read about it throughout yesterday on the Internet, and it wasn't any earthshaking development as far as I was concerned. I'm well aware that there are plenty of gay people participating in sports--both men's and women's sports--and I guess I don't care if they come out of the closet or stay in the closet. The sports business is just like any other business. Homosexuals are part of every group, and I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure out who's gay and who isn't. Frank proceeded to ask me if there were any gays "down there." I said, "Down where?" Frank said, "Down at the Register." I said, "I worked with a lot of people, and some were stranger than others. And I'm sure some of them were gay. Like any other business, I figured most of them were heterosexual. But I'm sure a few were bisexual, some A-sexual, which was the term we used when trying to describe someone we didn't think had any strong feelings for either men or women. That's all I know about it. And, frankly, I'm not wasting any time these days wondering who's gay and who isn't gay at the paper. The people at that place have plenty of other problems, none of which will be solved anytime soon.