RON MALY HAS BEEN WATCHING THE PARADE GO BY FOR A LONG TIME. THIS IS ONE OF HIS WEBSITES.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Iowa basketball coach Fran McCaffery has told his players to shut down their Twitter accounts until the season is over. I'm sure this move will solve all of the Hawkeyes' problems. They have lost three of their last four games at Carver-Hawkeye Arena, and now that Twitter will no longer be a part of the players' lives, I am certain the team will get things turned around on the home court. For all I know, not having to think about their tweets [either coming in or going out] may enable the team to also play better on the road. I am even confident the players' Twitter inactivity will have a trickle-down affect on the coaches. I'm betting the coaches, knowing Twitter is not corrupting the minds of anyone on the team, will now give the players better advice on what to do on both offense and defense when games are decided in the last 2 minutes. I'm expecting instant improvement now that this major decision about this terrible thing known as Twitter has been made. If for some reason telling the players to shut down their Twitter accounts doesn't improve the Hawkeyes' ability to win games, I expect the next move will be to keep them away from Facebook, e-mail and cell phones, too.